We got sent a memo by our chief that the medicine service WANTED to be the primary service on ALL ortho admits...

I would definitely be the dude on the right in this scenario.

Me to the medical students after sign out: "So we've got a little bit of time before we have to go up to the OR, anyone want to talk about a specific subject?"
Med student: "Can we talk about the ober and duckwalk tests?"
Me: ...

I was draping a patient when one of the circulating nurses who was putting drapes on inadvertently dragged her hand across my jibblies...

I'm applying to fellowships, and waiting to hear back for interview offers...

Attending rule of 2's:

When 2 attendings scrub in to a case with you:

1. Resident work gets halved.

2. Number of suggestions on how to do the remaining work you do gets doubled.

3. Amount of resident mockery increases by 2^2.