PA: 'Hey, we got a consult just for forearm pain.  X-rays are normal, but the resident is concerned about flexor tenosynovitis....of the muscle belly.'

ED attending: 'Hey, we have a consult for you, its a lady with a finger lac.'

Me: 'Do you have films?'

ED attending: 'no'

Me: 'Do you have a name?'

ED attending: 'no'

Me: 'Medical record number?'

ED attending: 'I don't have it with me.'

Me: 'What was the mechanism?'

ED attending: 'I'm not sure.'

Me: 'Where's the lac?'

ED attending: 'Near the joint, the middle one.'

Me: 'Is she neurovascularly intact?'

ED attending: 'I don't know, I don't carry around their h&p.'

Me: ....

After getting a consult for a symptoms 'concerning for a SCFE', with negative xrays, this was the physical exam...

'Hi, the peds team was concerned about you having a septic elbow. How much can you move your arms?'

The physical exam on most septic hip consults...

 Any ED consult for flexor tenosynovitis....

Successfully blocking a consult...

When I watch the clock strike 1800 without a consult all day...

When the person on the phone takes more than 2 minutes to explain an ortho consult...

When I go to ED after getting a consult 30 minutes before sign out...

When a consult begins with the patients current emotional state...

When I told my senior that I was going to board a humerus fracture...

After doing a consult, when I check if there's anything I can help the ED out with...

When I hear a resident I don't know say 'fracture':

After getting the only consult I've gotten from Ob/Gyn:

Osteomyelitis consults.

The painless range of motion for most septic knee consults...