Random ortho fact of the day:
Sir Robert Jones, of the "Jones fracture" namesake, developed an interest in fractures of the fifth metatarsal after sustaining that injury while, um...

(In the pre-op area)

Me (trying to be friendly with the patient): "Dude, you busted up your forearm pretty good. How'd you do it?"
Patient: "Just jumping off a ledge. It was stupid."
Me: "That sucks, were you doing parkour or something?"
Patient: "Trying to commit suicide."
Me:...

I had a short TFN nail where the interlock screw that was placed THROUGH THE JIG missed the nail.  I asked the rep, and he said it was 'probably user error'...

Love you dave.

One of my co-residents had me mix a packet of honey and packet of tabasco sauce and put it on the chicken strips here at the hospital...

After reading 3 articles on tibial blocking screws...

The attending after drilling the distal interlock screw for a tibial nail, and having arterial blood shoot out of the depth gauge...

We took a patient to the OR for a trauma, and when we rolled him over to put the sliding board underneath him, a baggie of cocaine fell out from between his buttcheeks...

When I haven't eaten anything all day, and the nurses are having a potluck for someone that's leaving...

I had a patient that felt like we were abusing him for not giving him oral dilaudid to go home on after a small surgery...

Trying to get a hug from my wife after returning home from a rather bloody consult in the ED...

What I feel like after telling a patient they're going to get drug tested on the day of surgery for meth in a couple weeks, and cancelled if it's positive.
And then they show up for surgery 2 weeks later and test positive for meth...

My thoughts after putting on a splint with a female med student and accidentally calling her "sweetie"...

What i feel like holding the scalpel before a case i haven't studied for...

My reaction after a patient said in the morning, "Doctor, so good to see you, I almost forgot what you looked like, I've been dreaming about you all night.."

Had a patient the other day who started by going: "You know what actually caused the ebola outbreak, right? It's the same people that caused the AIDS epidemic..."

Getting a page at 2330 when I'm not on call...

What I feel now whenever an attending scrubs into a case...

So we had a patient come in with an ankle fracture that was a polytrauma, intubated in the ED. I went up to do the secondary exam, walked in the room and introduced myself to a teary eyed family. I explained that I was the bone doctor, and that I didn't know a lot about the other systems, but knew a lot about the bones and needed to do an exam to make sure nothing was dislocated or frankly broken. I examined the still intubated patient, ranging all the joints, etc. At the end, I told the family that the patient did have an ankle fracture, but that we would be managing it without surgery and that they had (and i quote verbatim) "other priorities that are higher on the list than their ankle." They nodded and I walked out.

And that's when the nurse informed me that the patient expired 30 minutes ago...